Men are Like Cake

So Ms. Juanita (Baby Boy) had it right, or should I say delivered it right. I am sure that she is not the first to say this and I am certain that I am not the first to actually agree with it.

When you in love with a man,
he can make you feel high.

So high you just be in outer space.

But a man can also make you feel low.

Real low. And he can keep you there.

Keep you down.

If you let him.

Men can make you feel high and I of all people know that they can make you feel low. In all reality men are just like things, they are just like stuff……. Nothing more or nothing less. Before I go on I would like to say that I am sure the “yall women this – yall females that” is coming. Please miss my comment section with that bull shit. Until I sprout a penis and begin to think with it I will continue to blog on the bias.

As I laid in my comfy bed last night I began to think about past relationships and food then my thoughts drifted to past relationships and items…… then out of the blue I began to think of past relationships and employment. One thing that remained consistent with my thoughts were “past relationships” and from that I began to realize just how much men reminded me of stuff in general.

Let’s use cake as an example shall we, I absolutely love love love red velvet cup cakes, cake - anything red velvet. I’d even devour the armadillo cake from Steel Magnolias if I could---- Sometimes I get in the mood for a good old slice or three of cake and as I eat it I feel mmm mmm good, devine, pure euphoria at an orgasmic level. With each bite I sing in my head “I’m eating caakeeee I’m eatttinnng cakkke” and I love it! I gain a few pounds and I see the glass as half full, thick thighs are fine, who cares? Then there are days when I am in a funk, nothing can console me so I do what? I eat cake. Only this time it’s different, these are not happy bites, these are bites of punishment full of remorse, no songs in my head, no tapping of the foot just plain old chewing and hating each and every second of my life. I think “why am I doing this to myself, this cake doesn’t make me happy.” I make me happy – no matter my mood this cake remains the same. I brought myself to this cake, it did not come to me…. It has not forced me to partake in its sweet velvety goodness. This is completely my doing and for what? Just to have a bit of what I like. Just to regret the fact that my waistline is on maternity because of my desire? I am sure by now you are twisting your nose like WTF does cake have to do with men, well I’ll tell ya. It can make me feel high and it can make me feel low. WRONG, I can make me feel high and I can make me feel low. No matter how I feel or what I do that hunk of cake remains the same, it comes off different according to my situation.

As with men. Let’s talk about Satan, There were times when he made me feel like the best thing since sliced bread, I’m just taking it all in…. shucking and a jiving to his beat then on the flip side this same dude would make me feel like the shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe. To who’s fault? None other than my own……. I chose to dance to the good and cry at the bad, all the while he never changed, that was just him. He had his good times and he had his bad times I was the deciding factor in my serenity. It was up to me to choose if I would deal with it and strap up for the roller coaster ride or hop off at the next exit because I knew the results of each mood. There is no changing a man, who’d mess with the perfect Red Velvet Cake recipe? Can you make it better? And if you do then it’s not the same cake that you fell in love with, is it new and improved? Nope not at all. The end result will still leave you full of satisfaction or full of regret. It’s the same damn cake! It’s the same damn man!

Just like shopping, you could spend - spend - spend and remain happy with your purchases, even through bill time! Or you can spend – spend - spend and hate looking into your closet because the articles of clothing take on the hues of final notices. Either way the sport stayed the same, you decided when to go in. You decided what to purchase fully aware of the consequences, this is not your first time completing transactions you are a grown ass woman that has been shopping for years. You my friend are all too familiar with the layout of your favorite store or website. Just as familiar as you are with that man.

Employment doesn’t fall too far from this, life is in fact what you make it. Some folks have been stuck in dead end jobs for years, from one to the next yadda yadda – you know what to expect from this type of employment yet you do nothing to put yourself in a better position. Instead you punch in – punch out – play your numbers and hope for a miracle rescue win. Before you know it the amount of your losing lotto tickets are equivalent to a down payment on your dream home… Your state’s lotto is rolling in dough and your sitting at home scamming on a bag of weed to help spark your creativity because “one day” you gon make it……. Again, just like a man…. How much more will you put into a relationship, (whatever type of relationship it may be) before you realize you’re fucking a damn receipt book?

Look at me rambling – I could go on and on… I just had to get this off of my chest, now it’s time for a slice of cake…. Some light online shopping and a quickie…………..

Mrs. B

Three The Aroused Way- you, your man and a pole

According to Wiki a Strip Club is a nightclub or bar where striptease is regularly performed and possibly other related acts such as lap dancing. While usually considered much less objectionable than more explicit adult entertainment such as sex shows, they are often the focus of morality campaigns and restrictive legislation.

High-end establishments tend to be known as "Gentlemen's Clubs". More down-market competitors may be referred to as titty/tittie bars, rippers, nipple derbies, skin bars, girly bars, nudie bars, or go-go bars. Sometimes, they are referred to as men's clubs (not to be confused with working men's clubs). In a bikini bar, dancers typically do not disrobe completely.

With that being said would you attend such a club with your mate?

Why or why not?

I am on the fence with this one and have been for years. Many factors come into play when discussing such a topic, stuff like

Is he or she mature enough to handle this?

Will he or she become infatuated with the ambiance?

Will he or she eventually end up in a back room on either knees or all fours?

Will he or she decide to partake in the festivities right under your nose………………

Then you have questions like will they respect me in the morning? Oh and will this person’s view point of me change once let in on my particular form of recreational activities? Or vice versa..

If you are in fact in a relationship that both parties wish to pursue further than these are just a few of the concerns that may arise. On the other side your union could be one of fun and games where as a triple date with a pole equipped stage may not be so taboo.

Whatever your situation may be the outcome of such a visit is unique to each individual, I mean after all you never really KNOW somebody until certain situations arise. Do you think Hillary knew upon meeting Bill that he would become president of the US and end up getting “in house” head? Did you think that Morgan Freeman’s wife said “I do” knowing that one day MtM, Morgan and the Mistress would end up in a car wreck on the side of the road?

It’s all about growth and discovering your mate layer by layer until you reach the core which can take years or even a lifetime.

You could go to a strip club with your mate just to get a first hand glimpse of how they would conduct themselves in your presence. You could allow your mate to go to a strip club then go covert mission on their ass and catch the real them in action
Or you can shock the fuck out their ass or have the shit shocked out of you when you or your mate takes the main stage while you are supposed to be elsewhere…….

This whole topic is a tangled web and can only be answered in multiplicity. So have at it folks, would you in fact join your partner for tits and ass or six-packs and penises?

Mrs. B

Mrs. B's Crush of the Week

Isn't he grand?

Thanks Geico -


Mrs. B

Mrs. B's Crush of the Week!

So Orgasmic

Mrs. B

The Side Dish

I wrote this blog months ago, I felt the need to repost this in effort to help out a dear friend of mine that is on the verge of becoming the vegetable of a meat eater………..

So here it goes – this one’s for you girlie!

I wanted to blog today so that I can get some insight on my most recent dilemma. I am sure you have all guessed by now that I have been seeing someone. Well sort of. Let me explain a little about me. I am stingy and selfish, I hate liars and I must get my way. I throw random temper tantrums from the smallest mishaps and I love to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. That about sums me up.

This is what I see when I step outside of myself and take a gander at this Sheli person.

Which is why I feel the need to express how I, Sheli, almost ended up as the side chick.

I was on the plate and I almost made it to the table

I mean really, picture me as the string beans! The freaking mashed potatoes and gravy, the corn on the fucking cob, the got damn succotash, the damn asparagus sprinkled with hollandaise sauce, the fucking peas and carrots, the baked macaroni and chee---- wait I don't mind being some bomb ass baked macaroni and cheese –ah hem, my point being – I am the main chick damn it! I don't give two shits about anyone else once I come into play! Call it what you want as long as you call it! My relevance is so necessary.

Let me explain my madness

You may have multiple folks you are dealing with - lets say three. Not necessarily sleeping with them all but these three are the closet thing to you outside of family. Now out of the three there is one that you are head over heels for, the other two are relevant but you really don't care if they ever call or come again, the problem is those are the two that are trying to wife/husband your ass! All the while the keeper really doesn't have time for you. So what do you do? You entertain yourself with fillers. Yes the other two are kept around to compensate for what you want but don't have, you trick yourself into believing they are worth your time. These two combined do everything that you want the keeper to do. Pure misery. Fuckery at it's best. The fillers can do whatever the hell they want with whoever the hell they want but that keeper, oohhh that keeper had better not stray cause then it's gonna be some smoke in the city!

This shit is so fuckin twisted yall, pure selfishness because yeah you may have that one main guy or girl with your fillers on the side and it's fine, because it's you, but man o man why in the hell do you get so fucking pissed when you find out your main guy or girl has a filler or two of his or her own?

Okay on to my point. I started out in this dudes life as filler, which is fine cause he filled plenty 'o nights 'o mine but I'm sayin though, how the fuck you gon attempt to pull the wool over my nosey ass eyes? I know everything damn it! I fucking birthed the next generations Wendy Williams for Pete's sake! The whole no time for Sheli thing is coming to light, either way it goes I don't want to be around for the outcome. Some folks are not cut out for the whole main girl side chick thing because they are weak

Guy A + girls B, C and D = Guy A is chasing girl B
Girl B + guys E, F and G = Girl B is chasing guy E
Guy E + girls H, I and J = Guy E is chasing girl H - And so forth and so on,

A fucking circle. I think I need new shoes

As long as you enter someone's life as filler you will never become the main one. There is always gonna be the one that is truly wanted in the back of their mind and if and when their time comes your ass is gonna be back at the filling station. (If you allow it) It's all or nothing with me, which is totally hypocritical. I can even take it to the whole "do as I say and not as I do thing" Yeah I am having an issue.

I am a woman scorned damn it, there is a mile long list of issues that I have with even the smallest form of commitment. I am sure that dudes have issues as well but I am more important than you damn it!

I need a shrink – I want to vent to someone that gets paid to evaluate me and give me medication prescriptions.

I did a blog about filler once; don't get me wrong they are nice to have. Especially in the winter, but it's when you come across that filler with potential that things get all messy and shit.

I hope this helped - -


Mrs. B

Mrs. B's Crush of the Week!

Well crushes------

They are soooo ready for the world!!

Ultimate Swag

I am enjoying this moment in history from the comfort of my home, it’s invigorating. Even though I am not one for all the political mumbo jumbo and stuff I am really feeling this moment. I have half a mind to toss a few back in celebration. Hell I can find any reason to say cheers. I just want to wish everyone a happy inaugural and please be safe if you’re out there. Kudos to the entrepreneurs pushing everything from key chains to Don Kings denim jacket. I love my people. Michelle is a tad so fly and yessir on the gift, that was classic. Loved it! Before I go, why the hell was Chaney lifting boxes? Let me find out he got punked lmao. That can go in so many directions, I’ll leave it to imagination and shit………….. A wheelchair though?


I’m off to make my Georgia Hots, ttyl Readers.

Mrs. B

Martin Luther "The" King Jr. Day

Happy MLTKJ Day to All

I chose this pic for a reason, everybody posts the Happy Pics of MLTK, I for one feel like allot of us has forgotten exactly what he did for our people. Not only was he orgasmic he caught charges for our freedom. This man did not sit in jail so that our young men can walk around in skinny jeans. Yes that was straight contradictory, he fought for freedom in all forms. I just have a problem with skinny jeans on dudes. The day my son asks me for skinny jeans will be the start of child welfare visits to my home.

I appreciate Martin for all that he’s done. He was a true ride or die dude and I love him for that. Feel free to drop off why you appreciate him in my comments….


Mrs. B

ps. Martin Luther The King is what I call him, don't get silly - -

How Hot Is He?

Hello Readers, I must apologize for the whole comment thing. It looks like my account was set to only allow registered users to comment. It’s all fixed now so have at the comment section like Target on Black Friday.

I wanted to write about this whole male ego thing. Far be it from me to deter anyone from having high self esteem and all but some of this shit has to stop. Some of these dudes are using the fact that they have life’s bare necessities as reasoning for their inflated egos. Okay so you have your own place, a job, a car, a bank account and a few nice items in your closet. Woo hooo alert the media! Let the world know you are renting, have a boss you probably hate, have a loan to pay off, you’re a hundredaire and you can match your clothes! I mean really, is the fact that you are breaking even supposed to set my wheels in motion? The bulk of us were raised to think highly of ourselves and all, which is a beautiful thing. I just feel like the bar should be raised when it comes to having the ego of a successful being. Sure the economy is fucked and we should all be grateful for what we have. There are some that have more than others and others that are worse off than most……….. Can egos be weighed against actual value to determine the mindset you should have when you step out into the world each day? Surely this equation may seem like it’s designed for one to fail but it would also make my dating experience so much better, after all I’m all that matters anyway.

GOT SWAGGER ?

Some call it swag. I guess. You can be the brokest dude on the block and have the ego of a millionaire. You can be a thousandaire and have the ego of a dude that is just trying to get by. No matter what you have or how you carry it there is a fine line between a big ego and swagger. Dare you look down on me because I suggest Outback steakhouse? Shit I like their Lobster tails and bread damn it!!! What should I suggest Morton’s or McCormick and Schmicks? So that WASA can carry you and Comcast can have you watching DVD’s for a minute because Analog Broadcasting is coming to an end? Maybe I should pay huh? HA! You won’t get a “boo I got it” out of Mrs. B. I am just being reasonable even if your ego does tell you that you too can afford to keep up with the next man. Sure you get what you pay for and I am just dandy with what I am in the mood for.

In the end I will say a little prayer for all mankind in hopes that these dudes can reach a median between a big ego and swag. Some say it’s the same thing, no sir - it isn’t - there is a huge difference, trust me. I can prove it with my phone book.


Mrs. B