Yes I am starting off the year with yet another confusing ass revelation to my spinster ass ways. I am sure we are all aware of the all too familiar “I don’t want a relationship” or the “I don’t have time for all the extras” that is until you watch that one sappy love story or hear that one ballad that sends you into a whirlwind of emotions. (Or in my case a whirlwind of vodka ridden emotions) this does not only happen in my drunkenness I promise. My reaction to the big “R” varies daily. I feel a range of emotions, anywhere from being in awe of the lovely hand holding couple to smiling graciously at the man that hugs his woman ever so gently while they wait in line at the ATM. Sometimes I find myself wanting to know how it feels to have a man pick me up from work so I don’t have to deal with the stressful drive home and even feeling a slight pang of envy as an office mate gets her usual afternoon “boo time” phone call.
Then on other days I interpret the same actions in a different light, I see that couple holding hands and think to myself how possessive and insecure they both are, who holds hands with someone over nine years old when crossing the street anyway? Then I see the damn leech at the ATM with his personal teller and mentally curse his ass for filth and wonder how ol girl is gonna react when he leaves her ass. Oh and the dude that pics up his girl from work, has no choice since his lame ass ain’t workin anyway. Probably a “stay at home” dad that’s about to be a “rapper” blah- Then I want to disconnect the phone wires when the Mr. calls the Mrs. To check her ETA, he gotta make sure all remnants of the mistress are gone before wifey gets home - -
Confused I am and confused I will be. I don’t think I will ever have that special something with that special someone. I am too busy wanting what I am having trouble comprehending. I have realized that the old saying “you’ll never find love if you look for it” is true. I am guilty of partaking in the whole I am going to let love find me mumbo jumbo and alas it has been revealed that I am destined to be single. It fits me better than involved. Almost fits like a glove.
I don’t want to "wrap" yall up, IJS
Mrs. B
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ReplyDeletei like you can look at each situation that many different ways your not alone feelin that way i think everyone does every no again but i'm learning to just take the bitter with the sweet sometimes and wait on my prince charming who ever he may be
ReplyDeleteHayyy Destiny!!! I am glad to know that I am not alone. Bitter and Sweet is just the right comparison - I love it! I must say though, don't wait for prince charming - shoot for King Charming that way he'll be a tad more "seasoned"
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