I'm Really Not Saying Anything, I'm Just Saying Something

Hello out there! I have the need to release yet another bad situation into the universe………. Here goes nothing.

I had a friend. He was the epitome of cool. We really had great times together.

We had a basic knowledge and understanding of each other and our thing worked out well. I cried on his shoulder when times were rough and he gave me the type of words of encouragement that only he could give. I’ve known him for ages, way back to junior high school. Everything between us was well. Or so I thought. I am going to break down the situation that has led me to actually hate this dude. Hate is such a strong word and I don’t use it often. This situation really brought out the worse in me, it made me actually hate someone.

So buddy and I decided to hang out, one night turned into two days and things were cool. We decided on going to a movie and to hang out at his friend’s place after. Amidst our planning I got a party invite, you know me I love the house parties!! So I asked buddy if he wanted to come with. He didn’t say yes and he didn’t say no. I took that as a no. Oh well I’m hanging with him so I’ll have to catch a party some other time. The theater was too crowded so we decided to just grab some food and head over to his friends place, on the way there he caught a flat. That shifted his whole mood, which is normal, I would have been irritated as well. Either way I have a car, It’s late night and Florida Ave. is too far away. We decided to go get my car and carry on with the evening. We get to dudes house and everything is swell, just hanging out, drinking and playing cards. In comes some chick and buddy got to acting a tad off. I didn’t pay him that much attention, I was more focused on the collard green mozzarella stick I ate and exactly how much alcohol I could consume without fucking up my hand. I go to the bathroom during a break and come back to the biggest pile of fuckery thus far in 2009. This negroid asked me –

“so sweetheart, you still want to go to that party your friend is having?”

I am thinking he is ready to go and has decided to join me. I assumed that shit and made an ass out of me for real.

“sure let me get our coats”

This fool says

“oh nah, nah, nah, you go ahead and do you, what time we gon link back up in the morning?”

Why yall? Why me?

“so you’re shooing me, let me get my stuff from your house because I don’t know when you gonna wanna link up”

He said

“no”

If I were a boy-I’da stole all hell out of that nigga. I am not a boy so I didn’t. I suggested that we ride over to his place and gather my things so that I could get fresh in the morning. I was staying with him, it was the middle of the night and I really had nowhere else to go. My folks are sleeping I live in Baltimore for Christ’s sake and he is shooing me. WTF? Why the fuck? What happened? I don’t speak English right now because my mind can’t register no. He said no to going to gather my things with me, I said well let me take your keys and bring them back, he said no again.

By this time I am fuming inside and I couldn’t even inhale because I am too through with niggas. My breaths were so thick I though I was going to faint. I couldn’t function. I had no idea why he was doing this. I had to leave out of respect for dudes place. I really wanted to pop off and tell him some thangs but my fight is gone. I couldn’t muster the words. He was sending me on my way because? This never happened before, part of me thought he wanted to link up with ol girl. Well okay, that’s fine but what does that have to do with me getting my shit out his place? Like really? We can’t go get my stuff? You are forcing me to this party and you’ll be home when? In the meantime what am I supposed to do for clothing and bare necessities? How am I supposed to hold true to my proactive regimen? My world is fucked up right now.

So I go to the party, I had a ball. I half ass sang some karaoke and D. Marq sang some shugg for me! It was great, it really helped me to feel better. Thanks D. After a few I called buddy to see if he was home and he was. He said I could come and get my things. I got lost going over there which gave me time to think. I was driving with no destination at like five in the morning, crying my eyes out and cursing the world for my stupidity. Was I stupid? No I wasn’t, I realize that now. He was out of the norm not me. So why did I cry? I couldn’t stop. The tears were like hot wax and the fact that I had the windows down did nothing for my being over heated. I was miserable in every essence of the word. How did I get myself into yet another fucked up situation? Why did he shoo me away?

Mrs. B